Well, well, well. Who called it? Who just knew in her heart that our precious Reeve would not greet us on or before his due date? Yep, his Mama. Mama knows everything. Remember that, Reeve.
My life has always been full of wait and anticipation, so it's kind of been in the back of my mind that, pending all things go smoothly with the pregnancy (and praise God, they have!), Reeve would decide to be a rascal and leave us waiting. Yesterday was my 40-week mark, and I had an appointment. She told me some things that slightly contradicted my last visit, so I'm just ignoring that aspect and thinking Reeve will be here when he gets here, whether that involves an induction or not.
Inductions don't really scare me. I just think they need to be what is right for the baby and mother at the time. Of course I'd prefer for him to just surprise us all, but my main preference is that he is healthy and safe.
All that being said, I'm ready to meet this boy! We all are! According to the midwife, we won't have to wait any longer than next week, so that gives some slight relief, being able to see the end. However, I've said before that I've run out of skin and clothes and energy, and we just really want him here. Derick, a usually patient, not-easily-excited person, has become pretty anxious and can't help but to show it. He wakes up in the morning, asks me how I feel, and growls, "UHHHHH...BROTHERRRRR."
People have asked me since day one how I'm feeling, and I've done my very best not to complain too much. However, I can say that at this point, I'm EXHAUSTED. Even if I were to sleep all day long (which I really can't because I have to eat a ton of food and my head gets hot when I sleep) I still think I'd be just as tired. It's a natural part of pregnancy, especially at this stage, but it's really hard to deal with when there are a ton of things I need/want to be doing.
Maybe I'm being a little crazy in this, too, but I think Paris knows something's up. I've said that all along, but today especially, there's been a shift in her moods. She's a moody girl anyway, and you can't really guess what type of mood she's going to be in from moment to moment. But today, she's been ultra cozy to me. I went to Kelsey's this morning, and when she wasn't snooping in Kelsey's new house or love-attacking the cable guys, she was laying really, really close to me. I took a nap when I got home, and she stayed in the living room. She normally naps in the bed with me. Instead, she perched on the back of the couch and watched our yard/slept. It seems like normal Paris behavior if you know her, but there is something different. We had a dog when I was growing up. She was a black pomeranian, Muffin, and if anyone in the family got sick, she "got sick," too. Paris is sort of acting sick to me, but I know she feels well. It's weird and difficult to explain, but dogs are supposed to sense weird things, and I think she is curious about what's about to happen.
Tonight, there is a meet and greet for Derick's work, and I'm supposed to go. Problem is that I have no clothes that fit--other than sweat pants and Derick's t-shirts, which are unfortunately inappropriate for the event. I'll have to dig and scrounge.
I'm two pounds shy of my 25 lb. allotment, and I know that doesn't mean diddly really, but it makes me feel even guiltier when I eat three breakfasts (mostly sweets) and CRAVE soda like a crackhead all day long. I've been careful to not fully indulge in my caffeine cravings, but I do have an iced coffee here and there, and this morning I drank a can of DP that my in-laws left in the fridge. Caffeine has been my one worry. Mostly because I don't really know the dangers and effects. I certainly haven't drank close to my "limit," but it's still something that concerns me. I also think my worry is in part due to the fact that I was not a caffeine drinker before I was pregnant. All self control is lost once you are with child. I think I've said that before, but it is the absolute truth, or it was for me. I know Reeve isn't going to be born with an addiction to Vanilla Coke or anything, but I feel kinda bad that I didn't always make the best health choices, simply out of my own selfishness. I'm praying to be a better mom than that in the future.
Tonight, I'm going to eat an entire fresh pineapple. I may also drink some red raspberry leaf tea. I heard those are natural labor inducers. I don't really believe much in that because every baby and pregnancy is different, but pineapple and raspberry tea sound good, and that's my bottom line for eating and drinking them.
Before you give me hints and myths on how to induce labor, trust me, I know them all. No, I am not going to torture myself and drink castor oil. Frankly, I don't know what castor oil is and it wasn't until recently that I realized it, in fact, does not go in a car. I'm not going to do anything with cohosh. I don't know what that is either, but the term reminds me of some slang term for marijuana, and it just sounds like something a dirty hippie was doing when she went into labor. Not for me. I'm walking more than a lot of not pregnant people I know, so check that box. Derick is doing his part to help me. He even broke down and read how to induce labor, which won me a couple of nice, unexpected leg/foot rubs. (Can someone convince him that a full-body, hour-long massage will certainly do the trick?!) Bottom line: Reeve Roberts will come when he wants to, and if he needs a little extra boost from the doctor, then so be it. I'm just praying for his health and safety and looking forward to seeing those little cheeks (both sets!)
Well, I'm going to go cuddle with Paris and make sure she isn't just having a breakdown. She is very much a drama queen and needs frequent attention. Wonder who she gets that from???
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
the best is yet to come
Whoa, it's 2:25 in the morning, and I am awake. Please forgive me if this post has a lot of rambling that isn't really comprehensible. I've heard about pregnancy insomnia a lot, and I've been blessed to not deal with it until lately. On weekdays, Derick gets up around 4:45 and the light in the bathroom or his alarm wakes me up, and my body immediately tells me to eat. So, I go in the kitchen and chow down, and by that time, the sugar I've eaten combined with just being awake for a little bit, keeps me up until the sun comes up. After that, I normally fall asleep until around 9 or so.
It's been quite an eventful week, so I'm not all too surprised that I'm awake at 2:30, but I've actually been awake since just before 2, so I'm thinking tomorrow is going to be a tough one. Kelsey came back from Oregon, so that's been wonderful. I was able to help her move into her house (on base!!!) by delivering her couches, beds, washer and dryer, and other really heavy household goods. Ok, so I mostly put her clothes away and that's it, but hey, I'm about to pop! She did have some good help in Chase and Laura, so her house was nicely set up for Jonathan's arrival from Afghanistan. He got in last night, which could have had something to do with my excitement. The homecoming event itself was really a lot to handle. Lots of families waiting on their loved ones. I couldn't help but thank God that my Marine was sitting right there next to me. I know Derick still has a desire to deploy, and if I could stop being selfish, I'd admit that I hope he gets the opportunity, but it is a blessing to have him here with me, especially in the next few weeks of our lives. Even though my Marine wasn't coming back from a deployment, I could almost relate because I've been without him for a time. He wasn't ever in harm's way like those guys and girls, so it's different, but being without the one you love isn't easy. Ever. I was so happy for Kelsey and all the people who were reunited with their loved ones last night. Everyone who left on that particular deployment returned home safely. Praise the Lord for that! And praise Him for returning Jonathan to Kelsey. It was really awesome to take part in their reunion. I hope I didn't offend them by getting in their faces to take pictures. Hopefully, they didn't really notice me at all. :)
Tonight, I actually thought we might end up at the hospital. I've had some pressure/pain, especially at night, for the past week or so, and it's slowly grown more intense. Tonight, I was hurting pretty bad, but my pain wasn't anything like contractions are described. I'm pretty sure it's just Reeve growing and moving slowly downward. I was a little bummed that actual contractions never really started tonight, but maybe it's good because my house is slightly a disaster, and I don't want to bring him home to a mess.
Other than physical changes, I've been feeling pretty odd in the emotional/mental area, too. I'm a little more sensitive than I've been all pregnancy, and I focus a little more on small things. Maybe that's normal. I'm just hoping that if I've said or done something crazy that people were able to shrug it off as pregnancy lunacy and forget about it. My mind has pretty much been baby, baby, baby all year long, and the closer I get to Reeve's arrival, I think the crazier I'm becoming.
I still feel relatively fine, with the exception of the pressure/pain. My stomach is undeniably huge, and I had a mild meltdown the other day because literally nothing in my closet fits anymore. Not even my maternity stuff. I have to wear Derick's larger t-shirts or squeeze into a long stretchy tank top. I'm pretty sure that's the sign that Reeve should get on out of there, but he has his own agenda, and I'm trying to be patient. I eat a whole bunch, and I've made excuses that I deserve it, so I'm hoping that I don't regret it too much once I'm not carrying around another life inside my belly. I'm curious to know what the heck my stomach will actually end up looking like once it's all said and done. I probably don't want to know. The vain side of me reminds myself that plastic surgery, though impossibly expensive and unnecessary, is always an option. Our tiny baby is worth every mark and extra inch of flab that I get.
I just now took my rings off, and for the first time, it was sort of difficult to slide them off, so now I'm considering leaving them off until after the birth. I sure as heck do not want them cut off. That really stinks, though, because I was thinking maybe I was lucky enough to not swell up. Yeah, right.
I also just walked back to use the bathroom, and when I turned on the light, I saw Paris in the bed, back to back with her Dad. She looked at me like, "What????" She is really funny. I know she senses something because of the new baby gate that keeps her out of her favorite room in the house. She also thinks "Brother's room" is mysterious. She will go in there from time to time and sniff around and cry and scratch at his basket full of binks and toys. She's already grabbed a book off his shelf and she sleeps with one of his carseat strap protector animals that she threw a fit for. I'm pretty sure it will be humorous to see her interact with him, but I also think she's going to be a pretty good big sister once she gets him figured out. We call him "Brother" a lot, but I think she will end up calling him "The One With The Toys." She's been spoiled lately because her grandparents are here, and they give her whatever she wants. They stopped by for a few minutes yesterday to drop off some beans and cornbread (ok, I'm spoiled, too) and Mom immediately handed Paris a rib bone. Paris completely ignored the Frosty Paws ice cream I'd just given her. Mom could have handed her a dirty sock, and she would have thought it was the best gift ever. She loves her Momo and Popo. They have the best snacks.
I'm pretty sure that's it as far as updates go. We're just trying to be patient, which is nearly impossible and kinda pointless these days. I'm getting a little more concerned about things like birthing a baby, feeding a baby, changing a baby, and raising a child. The birthing part hasn't really worried me at all until recently. I'm looking forward to the epidural, as is Derick, and I know some pretty weenie girls who have had children, so I'm thinking I can do it. I'm not too awful when it comes to pain, although Derick would disagree. I think he forgets about all the other whiny women out there. The feeding part is a little intimidating because I haven't done a lot of homework on it. I'm banking on just adapting to Reeve's needs and developing a routine. All babies are different. They eat differently and adjust differently, so I guess I haven't tried to map out a distinct plan because I don't want it to fail miserably. The changing aspect isn't too nerve-wracking because my mom will be here and she cloth diapered me and my siblings. Yes, things have dramatically changed since then, but the basics are the same. The laundering part is what makes my brain spin a little bit, but hopefully I can develop a method for that as well. As far as raising a child, I'm pretty nicely equipped with the best counterpart for that, and I'm relying on a lot of prayer and a lot of learning-as-I-go. I've had some really great examples--good and bad--so hopefully I won't let our son down too often. So weird that we will have a son in potentially hours or days or weeks. I feel like I've loved him my whole entire life. Now, I get to love him forever.
Paris just jumped out of bed and ran in here to me. Maybe she does love me a little. She is already asleep in her chair, so I guess I should gather her up and bring her to bed. I know tomorrow--well, today--will come quickly, and I have a lot of cleaning to do. Maybe next update will be all about how cute our son is! Paris says goodnight!!!
It's been quite an eventful week, so I'm not all too surprised that I'm awake at 2:30, but I've actually been awake since just before 2, so I'm thinking tomorrow is going to be a tough one. Kelsey came back from Oregon, so that's been wonderful. I was able to help her move into her house (on base!!!) by delivering her couches, beds, washer and dryer, and other really heavy household goods. Ok, so I mostly put her clothes away and that's it, but hey, I'm about to pop! She did have some good help in Chase and Laura, so her house was nicely set up for Jonathan's arrival from Afghanistan. He got in last night, which could have had something to do with my excitement. The homecoming event itself was really a lot to handle. Lots of families waiting on their loved ones. I couldn't help but thank God that my Marine was sitting right there next to me. I know Derick still has a desire to deploy, and if I could stop being selfish, I'd admit that I hope he gets the opportunity, but it is a blessing to have him here with me, especially in the next few weeks of our lives. Even though my Marine wasn't coming back from a deployment, I could almost relate because I've been without him for a time. He wasn't ever in harm's way like those guys and girls, so it's different, but being without the one you love isn't easy. Ever. I was so happy for Kelsey and all the people who were reunited with their loved ones last night. Everyone who left on that particular deployment returned home safely. Praise the Lord for that! And praise Him for returning Jonathan to Kelsey. It was really awesome to take part in their reunion. I hope I didn't offend them by getting in their faces to take pictures. Hopefully, they didn't really notice me at all. :)
Tonight, I actually thought we might end up at the hospital. I've had some pressure/pain, especially at night, for the past week or so, and it's slowly grown more intense. Tonight, I was hurting pretty bad, but my pain wasn't anything like contractions are described. I'm pretty sure it's just Reeve growing and moving slowly downward. I was a little bummed that actual contractions never really started tonight, but maybe it's good because my house is slightly a disaster, and I don't want to bring him home to a mess.
Other than physical changes, I've been feeling pretty odd in the emotional/mental area, too. I'm a little more sensitive than I've been all pregnancy, and I focus a little more on small things. Maybe that's normal. I'm just hoping that if I've said or done something crazy that people were able to shrug it off as pregnancy lunacy and forget about it. My mind has pretty much been baby, baby, baby all year long, and the closer I get to Reeve's arrival, I think the crazier I'm becoming.
I still feel relatively fine, with the exception of the pressure/pain. My stomach is undeniably huge, and I had a mild meltdown the other day because literally nothing in my closet fits anymore. Not even my maternity stuff. I have to wear Derick's larger t-shirts or squeeze into a long stretchy tank top. I'm pretty sure that's the sign that Reeve should get on out of there, but he has his own agenda, and I'm trying to be patient. I eat a whole bunch, and I've made excuses that I deserve it, so I'm hoping that I don't regret it too much once I'm not carrying around another life inside my belly. I'm curious to know what the heck my stomach will actually end up looking like once it's all said and done. I probably don't want to know. The vain side of me reminds myself that plastic surgery, though impossibly expensive and unnecessary, is always an option. Our tiny baby is worth every mark and extra inch of flab that I get.
I just now took my rings off, and for the first time, it was sort of difficult to slide them off, so now I'm considering leaving them off until after the birth. I sure as heck do not want them cut off. That really stinks, though, because I was thinking maybe I was lucky enough to not swell up. Yeah, right.
I also just walked back to use the bathroom, and when I turned on the light, I saw Paris in the bed, back to back with her Dad. She looked at me like, "What????" She is really funny. I know she senses something because of the new baby gate that keeps her out of her favorite room in the house. She also thinks "Brother's room" is mysterious. She will go in there from time to time and sniff around and cry and scratch at his basket full of binks and toys. She's already grabbed a book off his shelf and she sleeps with one of his carseat strap protector animals that she threw a fit for. I'm pretty sure it will be humorous to see her interact with him, but I also think she's going to be a pretty good big sister once she gets him figured out. We call him "Brother" a lot, but I think she will end up calling him "The One With The Toys." She's been spoiled lately because her grandparents are here, and they give her whatever she wants. They stopped by for a few minutes yesterday to drop off some beans and cornbread (ok, I'm spoiled, too) and Mom immediately handed Paris a rib bone. Paris completely ignored the Frosty Paws ice cream I'd just given her. Mom could have handed her a dirty sock, and she would have thought it was the best gift ever. She loves her Momo and Popo. They have the best snacks.
I'm pretty sure that's it as far as updates go. We're just trying to be patient, which is nearly impossible and kinda pointless these days. I'm getting a little more concerned about things like birthing a baby, feeding a baby, changing a baby, and raising a child. The birthing part hasn't really worried me at all until recently. I'm looking forward to the epidural, as is Derick, and I know some pretty weenie girls who have had children, so I'm thinking I can do it. I'm not too awful when it comes to pain, although Derick would disagree. I think he forgets about all the other whiny women out there. The feeding part is a little intimidating because I haven't done a lot of homework on it. I'm banking on just adapting to Reeve's needs and developing a routine. All babies are different. They eat differently and adjust differently, so I guess I haven't tried to map out a distinct plan because I don't want it to fail miserably. The changing aspect isn't too nerve-wracking because my mom will be here and she cloth diapered me and my siblings. Yes, things have dramatically changed since then, but the basics are the same. The laundering part is what makes my brain spin a little bit, but hopefully I can develop a method for that as well. As far as raising a child, I'm pretty nicely equipped with the best counterpart for that, and I'm relying on a lot of prayer and a lot of learning-as-I-go. I've had some really great examples--good and bad--so hopefully I won't let our son down too often. So weird that we will have a son in potentially hours or days or weeks. I feel like I've loved him my whole entire life. Now, I get to love him forever.
Paris just jumped out of bed and ran in here to me. Maybe she does love me a little. She is already asleep in her chair, so I guess I should gather her up and bring her to bed. I know tomorrow--well, today--will come quickly, and I have a lot of cleaning to do. Maybe next update will be all about how cute our son is! Paris says goodnight!!!
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