Misty Water Color Memories

love this time of year. It's somewhat cooling down, and kids are off to school. I was thinking last night about all the first days of school I experienced, and nothing really significant about any of those days stuck out to me. So, I tried really hard to remember anything that happened on any of my first days of school. Here's all that I came up with.
The first day of Kindergarten, I remember Mom holding my hand as I fearfully watched Wesley Mangrum run screaming and crying, back and forth, in and out of Mrs. Davis's classroom. I was mortified. I heard that Wesley had been in Kindergarten the year before. If he was this disturbed about coming back, it must really be awful!
You all know the story about my first day in seventh grade when Ace Mizell laughed at me for falling on my face by the water fountain.
The first day of my senior year, I cried the ENTIRE day (well, pretty much the entire year) because I was so sad to graduate. There's even a pic of me in the yearbook bawling my eyes out. Actually, I think there are a couple of pics like that.
So that's about the extent of my remembrance of my first days. It's funny because I have a crazy good memory. I can remember what I wore during some really insignificant moments in my life. I remember exactly what certain years smell like. (I can't really explain that one.) I remember every hairstyle I've ever had and where I was when I heard any given song for the first time.
However, these precious moments of which proud parents have been posting photos on Facebook all day seem to have slipped through the cracks of my memory and just become a giant conglomeration of a time period labeled "Back Then." All of my memories that seemed to be so important, so vital to who I was, have just blobbed together and turned into a stew of pep-rallies, tight-fitting shirts, school dances, trips to the Mid-South Fair, trips to the principal's office, trips to outlying towns where my boyfriend-at-the-time lived, pizza dipped in ranch dressing, chicken nugget day, morning announcements, notes without any content whatsoever, corn-rowed hair for softball games, and hugging my dad every morning in the common's area before the bell.
When you're a kid, everyone tells you to cherish your memories because those days are over quickly. What they don't tell you is that one day, when the pressures and mere existence of "the real world" turn you into a grown up, those memories will just be gone or warped by the passing of time.
My senior year, everyone was so ready to graduate and get the heck out of Bay High School, but not me. I was terrified. I didn't want things to change. I didn't want to leave all my friends. I didn't want to learn new ways of doing things. I cried every day that year, just ask my friends. I was so sad that we were all growing up and getting older and leaving each other. Bay is a small school, and we were a really small class where everyone knew each other--and probably too much about each other. I could probably name all my classmates, in alphabetical order, right now, on the spot.

Somebody told me something once that really stuck with me: "you remember things 10 times better than how they really were." I'm sure that's right. I look back at my scattered, jumbled memories of school and my hometown and I just see perfection. I know it wasn't really like that. I know I fought with my friends for no reason. I put boys before my schoolwork. I did really dumb stuff and paid for it.
But I think when I remember the perfection of those years, I'm just remembering a younger me with more energy and vibrancy and goals and dreams. I had a purpose and my purpose was to stand out and be different. I think I at least accomplished that.
It's sad to think that as we grow older, we only remember the really good or really bad moments. The rest simply become a big pile of days that just brought you from one big moment to the next. Maybe something happened in those little moments that we forgot. Maybe our forgotten memories are actually big, important memories for someone else.
That's why it's so important to show goodness and grace in every moment. I have failed tremendously at that. Not just in high school, but (and probably more so) in my adult life. I can remember clearly the times I was hurt or embarrassed in big ways. I can remember when I felt like my world was falling apart, whether brought on by myself or someone else. But maybe I can't always remember all the times I hurt or helped someone else in simple passing; the times I was the one who said or did something so menial for me but so huge for someone else. Isn't it strange how most of our most vivid memories are the ones that involve others? How many memories do we actually have that only involve ourselves, no one else? I don't have very many like that. In turn, don't we all have that one person whom we remember just because how awful they were? I hope I'm not that person to anyone. I hope everyone can at least remember one nice thing about me.
Sure, we aren't going to remember every moment, but what may seem like the smallest, most insignificant word or action can become a huge part in how we or others recall the past. I don't know about you, but I want to be remembered for being kind and patient and fun to be around. I sure have messed that up a lot, but I hope from now on, the memories I make (and the ones others make that involve me) are good ones.
On FB, I've been reading some well-wishes for the kids beginning a new school year, and I think it's pretty applicable to all of us. I don't think it's ever too late to become the "good guy," and to be remembered for how nice and helpful we are, rather than for our bad attitude or hateful heart. Even though we may have been the "bully" last year, this year we have the chance to be generous and forgiving and honest.
Sometimes, I wish I could erase or forget my darker memories, but those are a constant reminder to make better memories, to be the good guy. I think God reminds us of the bad, so that we can just be better.
So here's to a new school year, filled with chances to make good memories! Even though they could quite possibly become clouded and blurred, the time as a whole won't be forgotten. We will all look back on this year and sum it up as either good or bad. I hope it's good for all of you!

Just for fun, here are a few videos that bring back good memories of my time at BHS:)

If you graduated or ever attended a Kindergarten graduation at Bay in the past, oh 25+ years, you know all the words to this song:



Who remembers doing the dance routine to this song?


This song can still make me cry


This would NOT be my blog if I didn't post this:






Senior Year Songs:


pretty sure a boy broke up with me and gave me a CD with this song on it. Weird!


i have to admit: I had to google "Songs from 2004." I wasn't really into this type of music, but I did like this one and I'd almost forgotten it! See my point!?


Thank you Dakan Rigsbee for introducing me to this band. Still one of my faves:




Should have been our class song, in my opinion:


Was our class song, unfortunately: Sorry, I hate Greenday. Way too anti-military for me;)


If you made it this far in my video list, I will end on a good one, so as not to torture you with that horrible Greenday gibberish:) This doesn't really remind me of my Senior year, rather my husband, whom I met the following year....but that's a completely different blog! Anyway, this is a good one to end on, I believe: